It's funny how life altering events can bring marital faults and cracks to the surface very quickly. All marriages have them and if you know someone who says their marriage doesn't, IMHO they are either lying or in huge denial. My marriage is (was) near perfect, yet we definitely have issues and some of those include communication style problems. After 30 plus years, I thought that we had worked most of these issues through and had improved our communication skills, but apparently I was mistaken. I can clearly see now that some of the communication cracks were just covered up with a tarp and this new path in our lives is causing the tarps to fall away. Unfortunately, we are finding these cracks are still here in all their yucky glory and are just as wide as they were before!
In our typical dysfunctional style, I am siting here thinking of ways to extract revenge (I know - hard to believe from sweet little ole me!) and he has retreated to his corner and will either wait till things blow over on their own or will try to figure out how to apologize and get back into my good grace. Most likely the immediate problem will be dealt with, but the underlying communication issue will still be here. After all - these cracks have been here all these years thus far. I suspect they are not going away very easily!
So, I feel ignored, disrespected, manipulated, unvalidated, hurt and of course, (deep breath) lets not forget angry! But, I will get over it soon, I always do! Our marriage is not a one way street and I realize I play a big part in creating the communication cracks. I also am well aware that right now, my husband is dealing with his own set of negative feelings to match mine.
But you know what? - I don't care! I just want a punching bag - and his face is definitely going on it!!!
