I often compare my life to the seasons of the year: Spring, Summer, Fall, & Winter. Right now my husband and I are living in our third season, which I compare to Fall - or commonly referred to by many, "The Golden Years".
Looking back over the past two seasons, I realize that I have been impatient or too busy to enjoy them as I should have. As a child, young and blossoming in the season of Spring, I couldn't wait for Summer to come. The blooming process, while beautiful, was tedious and too slow for me. I wanted to grow up faster and felt constricted in my plot of earth. Instead of fully taking advantage of the growing process and allowing myself to bloom at a slow and natural pace, I pushed myself prematurely out of the season of Spring by getting married at the age of 16. We started our family immediately and sure enough I found myself in the Summer years, surrounded by the noises of children laughing, playing, & crying.
The Summer phase of life was busy and full of activity. I often felt overwhelmed with it's demands and wondered why I had been in such a hurry for Spring to be over. We had five children born to our family in a 6 year period. Then 4 years later our sixth and final child joined us. Needless to say I was enmeshed in the hectic summer activities of child rearing. Faced with so much work to build and maintain the family plot of ground that I was now responsible for, I realized that I had not developed the necessary skills I needed and was suffering the consequences of forcing myself to bloom so early. Yet, I had no choice but to try and do the best I could, learning by trial and error (mostly error) in my efforts to help my little seedlings grow and develop. The years of Summer flew by fast and were over all too quickly. Hind site is 20/20 and I now realize that because of the hectic pace and overwelming demands, for the second time I did not take the time to enjoy the amazing season I was in..
Now that I am in the quieter and definitely more calmer season of Fall, I look back and feel sad that summer is over. I miss the noises, activities, and wonderment of the child rearing years. (well - except the frustrating teen years - which I am eternally grateful are over!!!!). However, I have more time to myself to reflect and think (which may or may not be a good thing). This Fall season of my life has been somewhat of a relief as the work load is lighter because there are only two of us to take care of. I am more selfish and inner focused (also may or may not be a good thing). With the extra time I discovered that I still have so many unanswered questions that I would like to find answers for. I am in the process of re-examining many of my old ideals and beliefs that I once took for granted as truths. My husband and I have time to work on our relationship as husband and wife. We are relaxing more and very much finding pleasure with each other and with this season of life. We travel, we visit our children and grandchildren, we eat out, we go to movies, we laugh, and we have fun. Fall is a beautiful season and there is a reason it is often called the Golden Years! It is a precious time of life, full of richness and blessings.
However, as I notice the leaves starting to change colors and begin to fall around me, I become scared and think about the Season of Winter ahead. I fear the unknown and the cold that is next to come, and worry if we will be prepared enough for the blizzards that we may face. These thoughts drive away the enjoyment of this season, so I am learning to quickly push them aside so that I can stay focused and continue to look at the beauty of Fall.
I am determined not to do the same with this season of my life as I did with the others. No matter what happens, this season I intend to stay present in the moment and enjoy all that it has to offer.
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