(Audible Sigh)
It has been suggested that I may be depressed! My response to this is - YOU THINK!!!!!
I mean seriously, who would NOT be depressed if they were told they have a progressive disease that bit by bit will deteriorate their body? Who would not be depressed to go on line and read about the yucky stages and often debilitating effects of Parkinson's Disease as it progresses? Is there anyone who gets this kind of diagnosis and IS happy and thrilled about it?!
I suppose there are some people who thought they had something worse and are happy with this disease instead. Or maybe someone who was a sadomasochist would be happy! For the record, I thought I was perfectly healthy and I am definitely not a sadomasochist! (Well, I am pretty sure I am not one!)
The fact is that for most people, learning they have Parkinson's Disease or any other disease is just D.mm depressing! So of course I am depressed! Wouldn't you be? (Deep Breath)
(Slowly breathing) Whew! I feel so much better! I am going to find a happy place -
somewhere where there is lots of chocolate! (Smirk)
Don't you love the headpiece? I do!!!! lol
ReplyDeleteWoo Hoo! You blew my hair back! Coming out fighting is really the best way to do it. Naw, You don't have to like it better than some other disease. That's just a tongue-in-cheek joke I have going on. Although I do think there are some other things I would not trade Parkinson's for. I really enjoyed reading your blog! CY at Parkinson's support online. That is what gets me through what would be really confusing days a lot better.
ReplyDeleteWelcome NonnieB, I agree, there are some other diseases that I would not trade Parkinson's for. So in some respects it could be worse. However if I had a choice in the matter, of course my choice would be not to have any disease. Oh well, we move forward with reality - fighting this disease all the way! Is there any other way? lol Not for me!
ReplyDeleteI look forward to getting to know you better. Take care!
Yeah, I think I would be depressed too. Well hey, I have been depressed and I don't even have Parkinson's!
ReplyDeleteThe thing about all of this is… Life is a collection of moments — millions upon millions of them. And when you're really struggling to come to terms with a painful reality in your life (or even a non-reality like worries about the future, which may or may not even happen) the frustrating thing about it is one moment you can grasp some profound truth that brings with it so much hope — you might even string a few thousand of these moments together — but then, inevitably, you have another moment where you seem to completely forget whatever that wisdom was, and the dark cloud comes rushing back into your soul.
It's then you need someone to remind you. Sometimes that someone is yourself even. Occasionally I will think to write down these little insights when they are given to me, and even more occasionally I will think to read back over what I wrote… and sometimes it's amazing how something I wrote many months ago can speak to me afresh when I need it.
In all this, remember you are human! In the Bible, humans are likened to things like grass, or sheep, or clay pots… Notice, these are not terribly flattering metaphors! It's a reminder of how weak and fragile we are — of our great need for strength that does not come from within ourselves, as much as our egos like to think it does. Disease is just another reminder of our frailty and our need. So don't be too hard on yourself when you have a bad day. But encourage yourself with the knowledge that God's good plan for you is still in place, and he can do far greater things than we often dare to imagine or even know to ask for.
Is the person who made that "observation" still among the living? haha. I don't understand people, really. Why even voice that thought? Going through emotional highs and lows are the norm when you receive life changing news.
ReplyDeleteOh and whenever someone mentions that "at least you don't have [insert other prognosis here]' phrase, it doesn't make anything even remotely better! What, would they want something worse to happen to you in order to make you grateful or give you new perspective?
People are weird.
Thanks Donald! You are so right - one of the depressing things for me is realizing how frail my body may become with this disease. I have prided myself on being healthy, exercising and eating healthy (for the most part) to stay that way. And it doesn't seem to matter. I still have this disease. It's that dang control thing that we have talked about before. I want to control!!! When will I ever learn that it doesn't work that way.
ReplyDeleteYou're also right about turning to God and about the things He can do for us. I just need to keep focused on that aspect.
Fay, you make me laugh! Yes, I let that person live. Actually the person was a professional who was just doing her job. And as it turns out, it was the right thing to say to me at the time because it made me come home and write this post, find my happy song, and eat some chocolate. I felt so much better after that. lol
ReplyDeleteAs for the at least you don't have... comments, I am actually guilty of saying that to myself. You are so right, it is a silly thing to say isn't it. The truth is that I am not happy to have this dang disease even if it could be worse. I love your comeback and may even use it if necessary. (Even if its only on myself)
Right, when you're struggling with something it's never very nice to be compared to someone else who has it worse. It's not nice because it feels like they're trivialising what you're going through, rather than showing understanding — and often a bit of understanding is all we really need. You know, someone to cry with you when you are crying, and to laugh with you when you are laughing. Sadly there are many who will try to make you laugh when you need to cry, and try to bring you down a peg or too when you seem too happy. Perhaps we've all been guilty of that from time to time.
ReplyDeleteI guess the message that gets lost in all of this, and its a good message, is to be grateful for all the things we do have. When we see someone like Nick Vujicic (the Australian motivational speaker born with no arms or legs), there are different ways we can respond. We can feel guilty for getting down about our own problem, because his problem is so much worse than ours! Or we can remember to be thankful for all the things we normally take for granted. One response brings us down, while the other lifts us up.
So true Donald! I hope I choose to be grateful! I really want to be lifted up! There is enough that drags us down without doing it ourselves.
ReplyDelete