I am thankful!

 

  

Some of the things I am

for:

 

My husband

My children

My children-in-laws

My grandchildren - all 18 (soon to be 19) of them

My siblings and their families

My extended family

My Daily Strength Friends

All my Friends

My doctors

Their hardworking nurses

Health Insurance

My job and my husband's job

Good health

Sinemet

The ability to walk and run

The ability to smile and laugh

My walking path

Sunshine

Beaches

My nice toasty warm house

My Subaru Outback

Books

Hot Chocolate

Any kind of chocolate

Movie Theaters

Facebook

Computers

Blankets

Beds

Sleep

Vacations

Warm coats, gloves, & boots

Washing machines and dryers

Bath tubs

Hot water heaters

Restaurants

Grocery stores

My son-in-law who is willing to cook the turkey this year

My daughter who is making a chocolate pie

Costco pumpkin pie

Holidays

 

 

And...I am thankful

 I am not a turkey!!!

 

  

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Remembering to look up!

The path I walk on and surrounding ground was thickly covered with leaves all this week.   Near the end of my walk yesterday I glanced up and scanned the scenery around me and was immediately struck by the beauty of all the colors spread throughout the surrounding forest ... and surprised by the fact that many of the trees were almost all bare now.  When did that happen?, I wondered. It seemed like the trees were just starting to turn colors!  The day before, I didn't notice that the leaves were almost all off the trees, even though I was keenly aware that the path was covered with them as they crunched under my feet.  Then it hit me.  I have not been looking up much while walking lately, instead I have been focusing my eyes down on what is right in front of me, for a good reason, to make sure I did not stumble on sticks or cracks.  Furthermore, my mind tends to wander and do some processing while I walk. It's actually quite therapeutic! Apparently I was so occupied with other thoughts this week during my walks, that  I missed out on seeing what was going on around me, I missed seeing some of the beauty of the Fall season. 

I think in some small ways, I have been doing that with life too.  I have been taking things day by day, staying focused on what is right in front of me, so that I don't get overwhelmed and so that I don't do too much projecting about the future.  I often find myself focusing inward a lot, processing emotions and feelings.  For me this is a necessary and unavoidable part of dealing with health issues, and this coping method is not a bad thing in and of itself.  It allows me to deal with the immediate concerns at hand while trying to stay positive and upbeat. 

After my walk yesterday, I started thinking and wondering - if I  might be missing out on other things going on around me because of my day to day functioning method,  if my life might be out of balance a little.  As I think about it a little more, I can see that in some ways the task by task thinking pattern helps me to escape thinking about this disease and perhaps is my way of staying in denial land a bit.  But, at the same time, in a way it is also keeping me extremely focused on this disease, perhaps at the expense of other things - if that makes any sense.  Because of this day to day focus,  I wonder if I am keeping myself from experiencing my life more fully...from seeing things all around me because I am pre-occupied or have limited my scope of thinking to the immediate future and am staying away as much as possible about thinking about the long term future.

Don't get me wrong, my life is fulfilling and for the most part I am happy and satisfied.  But because of my experience yesterday while walking, I realize that if I am not careful, I may look up some day and notice I missed out on some parts of the beautiful seasons of my life.  I just need to make sure to keep my focus and my life balanced, and remember to look up regularly to also see all around me, to make sure I am participating in my life the way I really want too!

Sometimes I just have to run!

I was looking over some of my past posts and saw the one where I ran a full mile.  http://cmfalling.blogspot.com/2011/10/mile-i-did-it.html
I was so excited then and at the time I envisioned working up to longer distances.   I can't believe that was two years ago.   As it turns out, I didn't work up past the one mile run, and in fact, I don't distance run all that much anymore.  I came to the conclusion I don't really like distance running, and walking fast seems to work just fine for me.  But every couple of days I just have to run - its like my legs desire to go fast and the muscles ache to move and stretch another way.  Plus I have this need in my head to prove that I still can do it -  that I can still run.   I either do fast sprints, 30 seconds fast as I can running, 30 seconds walking - alternating for about 10 minutes, or I do a slower, longer on and off jog for a couple of miles.  Whichever way I run - I am always appreciative of the fact that I can still get my body to do it. 

While on vacation we went to Arches national park with our son and his kids to do some sightseeing and a little hiking.  His kids are ages 1 to 7, so most of our hikes were fairly short.  We decided to hike up the trail to the Delicate Arch which the sign said was about  a 3 mile moderate difficulty round trip walk.  We were not sure about the little ones doing this hike, but they wanted to do it, so off we went.  The 7 year old and I led the way.  I had not done much walking or exercising during our vacation so was excited to get back out and stretch some of the stiffness out.  I kept up a fairly fast pace.  Soon I noticed the 7 year old was slowing down and then she dropped back with her parents who I guess were doing a more comfortable stride for her. At this point the path started up a steeper incline and I noticed the rest of the family was getting further and further behind me. I started to wonder if they were going to give it up and not finish the hike.

My first thought was that I should drop back and stay with them.   But all of a sudden I got the same feeling that I sometimes get when I walk, I just had to run, or in this case finish the hike.  I had to prove to myself that I could do it, plus I wanted to get to the top to see the famous scenery.  So I sped up and started walking as fast as I could.  I wasn't running as it was a pretty steep incline, but I was walking quickly using long strides, and it felt really good.   Glancing back a couple of times, I felt a little guilty that my family was now quite a ways behind me, but I selfishly kept going.  Soon they were out of sight.  I stopped only long enough to describe my husband to another couple who were headed back down the path and ask them to tell hubby that if they all decided not to finish the hike,  it was OK, but I was determined to go the distance and would meet them in the parking lot when I was done.  The couple laughed and agreed to watch for him and deliver the message.

Up, Up, I climbed until I came to the part where the path narrowed and continued along a ledge on the side of the rock mountain.  I stopped a minute to see how much further I would have to go and how deep the drop was on the side of the ledge.  Normally I am pretty scared of heights but it wasn't that bad so my legs started up again, I did not let my mind think, and I continued my fast pace up the ledge concentrating only on getting to my destination.  It didn't take too long to reach the top where I climbed onto a flat slab that opened up to an absolutely amazing site.  I was a tad bit winded for a minute, but so elated about being there and awed at the fabulous scene before me. It was breathtaking. 

I wandered around taking it all in, even getting close (but not too close) to the edges that dropped off, to see what was below.  It was so wondrous.  After several minutes I sat down, gazing at the natural beauty, and watching the other tourists enjoy it.  I thought about my family wishing they were there with me, especially my husband.  I wanted to share this moment with him.  I don't know how long I sat there, but eventually I began to think that I should head back down, to not make them wait too long.  So I walked around a little more to take in the view one last time, and then as I turned to the path, I saw the 7 year old climb up off the ledge, followed by her Dad, and then her siblings and her Mom, and finally another sibling with Hubby.  My heart literally leapt.  I was so happy to share this moment with them and so glad that they did not turn around, but made it all the way to the top too.   I actually teared up a little as my grandkids saw me, smiles breaking out on their faces and one of them yelled "Grandma, we made it".   I walked up to Hubby, who was freaking out a bit as one of the kids got a little too close to an edge.  "Grandpa, you made it - I didn't think you would!", I said.  He just smiled then quickly turned his attention back to keeping the kids safe.

Sometimes I just have to run -  sometimes I need to run - so  I will continue to run as long as I can, because I can, and to prove that I can!   I intend to appreciate every moment of it too!

Sleepy

I am back from a long family vacation which was awesome.  Back to the grind - and to not being able to fall asleep again.  I think I need to move to the west coast!  Their time zone fits my sleeping cycle so much better.  Got to run - tons of work to catch up on now!  (sigh)

The Michael J. Fox Show

This is where I will be Thursday nights from now on:

Watching this:

 

 

 

Can't wait!!!

 

https://www.facebook.com/TheMichaelJFoxShow?hc_location=stream

 

 

Money or Time? Questions & decisions! And BTW - Obama lied!!!

Hubby and I have been talking a lot lately about our retirement years.  He is actually eligible to retire now but at a reduced amount than if he stayed and worked longer to hit the maximum retirement level.  The problem is - who knows where I will be physically in 7 to 10 years.  As I have heard about others' PD progression and asked questions, I have concluded that there seems to be about a 5 - 7 year window (give or take a few years) after starting the Sinemet before one starts to battle the yucky side effects of the drug (mainly dyskinesia) in addition to the yucky symptoms from the progression of the Parkinson's disease.  I told Hubby this but he did not believe me. 

So when I was at my last appointment with my Neurologists, after he told me I was doing really well and responding nicely to the PD meds,  I asked him if he thought that down the road we would rather have more money - or will we wish we had retired earlier so we could use these "better years" to travel and do the things we might not be able to do later in the "rougher years".  At first he jokingly said "Money - of course!  Everyone wishes they had more money."  My Hubby then said - "CM thinks she has this 5 year window before things get worse for her and she may not be able to travel then.  She thinks we need to be traveling all we can now!"  Hubby fully expected the Dr. to refute the 5 year window comment.  His face fell when the Dr. basically said "That's about right! The next several years is a good time for her to be traveling while she is doing well.  There will come a point when it gets harder and harder for her to handle the stress from traveling, because the stress makes the symptoms worse!"  For once I was not happy to be able to say to Hubby, "I told you so!"  :(

We are only in our mid 50's.  My Hubby fully intended to work 7 to 10 more years or at least until he hit the maximum retirement level.   He loves his job and is not in a hurry to leave it.  We live in a high cost area - and we know we will have to move to a lower cost area when we retire - no matter what level we are at!  We have children and grandchildren that live near us and we are not ready to leave them yet.  We could move closer to other children and grandchildren for awhile - however I am not fond of that part of the country!  It's a great place to visit...I just don't want to live there.  I am also not particularly ready to stop working either - although, some days I could be persuaded quite easily!!!  And if we retire early will we even have enough money to travel where we want to go?? Heck - with the economy the way it is - I should probably be wondering if and when we retire, will we still even have any retirement money then?

Another glitch we are facing at the moment is that our health insurance is being messed with - and we may have to go on the Obama exchange to pick our insurance for next year!  The Obama care exchange site is following the typical government bureaucracy pattern and does not exist yet!  No - wait - let me take that back - the site exists - just the exchange list does not!!!   No one even knows what insurance plans will be on that exchange yet or how much they will cost.  Why would we expect them to have that figured out by now -  after all they have only had over 3 years to get it up and running!!!  Heck they are still reading the stinking bill that created the exchanges and are trying to figure out what it says and means!!!  Bottom line - right now it's up in the air if we will be able to stay with our current insurance which is an HMO.  If we can't, I won't be able to stay with my current Neurologists.  I have grown very fond of him!!  Keeping the same doctor has never been an issue to me - I have been too healthy to even get to know them very well, so I have never cared before!  Now I do! 

When Obama said over and over, that we would be able to keep our same health insurance plans with Obama care if we wanted to - he lied!  I worry about what is going to happen to health care - now that government has decided to mess with it more than they have ever done before?  Honestly, I don't have a lot of confidence in the government making it better!  But I do have a sick feeling in my stomach that health insurance will cost me a whole lot more because of government involvement!

So - here we are -  asking questions and thinking about decisions we did not expect to be considering this stage of our life.  To many, I realize I sound like I am whining.  Please understand, I am not complaining... OK I am - a little!  But, I do completely understand that we are blessed to have our jobs and are blessed that we can even talk about retiring!  I know there are many who are not so blessed, many who have lost their retirements and/or investments, and many who face financial hardships in their later years.  I am extremely aware of  and I am very grateful for our many, many blessings, including the ability to have the health care coverage we have had thus far!

I will stop my whining now.  Besides, my boss's wife brought me some pumpkin bars she made - and now I am going to go eat them!!!  YUM YUM!!!

It's simple math!

I warned my husband!

After all, it's simple math!

Me + Hubby + Beach = Fun + Relaxation+ Romance

However,

Me + Hubby + Grandson + Beach = Fun - Relaxation - Romance

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying Grandson is a negative...

I am just saying it's simple math...so...really...
It was an easy equation to figure out!!! 

At least we are moving!!

I saw a turtle on the edge of the path as I walked.

That was appropriate since I am feeling and moving like a turtle today!
So I said to the turtle "Hey - it's OK, at least we are moving - right?"
He didn't respond!  (I think that is a good thing)
Actually, only one of us was moving! 
The other one was pulled inside of itself trying to look inconspicuous!

I'll let you figure out which one!! 

An Overcommer

A very dear friend sent me this video!  An important reminder that we are not alone and can overcome all of our problems with God's help!

Thanks Fay - for the message and for touching my life with your faith when I need it most!

How I deal with Parkinson's

Having been an extremely healthy person all my life, this diagnosis of Parkinson's came out of the blue and hit me hard.  But like I try to do with most problems in my life, I took on the challenge and started to do research to see how to solve or fix it. What I learned is there is no fixing or solving this problem!!!   BUT, there were things I could do to "live with this disease well"!  (Thank you David Zid for that quote). Here are some of the first pieces of advice I read that have made a huge impact on me and have framed how I live with this disease  (not necessarily in the order of importance):

1.  Be positive.

2.  Stay in the present as much as possible.  Avoid worrying about the "down the road what ifs" and concentrate on the here and now. (Of course planning for the future is important, but worrying about it is not!!)

3.  Exercise, Exercise, Exercise!!!!

4.  Be open about my disease.  I read that those that are open about their disease seem to deal with it better.  Every one is different though - so this may not be good advice for some.  But it worked well for me - and I pretty much told all of my family, close friends, employer, and co-workers right away, in a positive and upbeat way - and then life went on as normal (well as normal as possible for someone who has Parkinson's.  lol)

5. Be proactive - research and learn about the disease and the medications as much as possible.  (I am not sure my doctor appreciates this - but he has learned to deal with all my questions and now knows that I read everything I can find about Parkinsons!! )

6. Use a sense of humor as much as possible.  (laughing about things feels so much better than crying about them!!)

7. Maintain a strong faith in God and count my blessings! God's blessings and tender mercies in my life are truly amazing!

Everyone is different and has their own way of coping - but staying focused on the above items has helped me immensely - not only with Parkinson's, but also with other challenges I have had to face!

(However -when all these efforts fail, and my mood sinks - which it sometimes does - I throw myself a really good pity party - which always includes chocolate for refreshments!  Chocolate has not failed me yet and ALWAYS makes me feel a whole lot better!!)

Hubby's mid-life crisis continues!

Hubby's is still having a mid-life crisis.  But at least he is not having an affair...with another woman.  Just an affair with music from the past! 

 

Here are some of the groups we have seen this summer. 

 

The "Happy Together" Tour 2013 featuring:

The Turtles featuring Flo & Eddie,
Chuck Negron formerly of Three Dog Night,
Gary Puckett & The Union Gap,
Mark Lindsay former lead singer of
Paul Revere and The Raiders , and
Gary Lewis & The Playboys.

 

 

BB King and Peter Frampton


 

 

And last but definitely not least...
 

 Our favorite - and another bucket list item crossed off -

which btw cost a pretty penny!!!

(Someone is making big bucks on these concerts...)

 

The Eagles

 

 

 

A great concert!!!

 

(in spite of some incredibly rude people in the audience!!!)

 

 



Good Old Fashioned Fun

Remember these?

 

There is a park not far from our house that still has one!
It's kind of hidden away - and hopefully stays forgotten by the

"we know what's good for you" bureaucracy

that has taken these out of most parks!

 

I love these things!  So many memories from my childhood going

round and round and round - faster and faster!

I especially love laying in the middle and looking up at the sky

as I spin round and round and round!

 

We took my 3 year old grandson to visit this park!

He loved the merry go round!.

And he loved laying in the middle on top of me

as Hubby spun us faster and faster,

both of us looking up at the trees.

I felt like I was in a kaleidoscope.

It was awesome!

 

Hubby didn't like laying in the middle

and begged for mercy!

But the thing wouldn't stop!

(I couldn't help myself - I was laughing too hard)

It was even funnier when he got off!

 

I wonder if that's why there aren't many of these left?
They are too damaging to male pride!

 

 

 



What was I thinking?

What in the world made me think I could balance walk a skinny log to avoid the muddy water that covered part of my path this morning.  Even before I had Parkinson's, I couldn't balance walk across skinny logs!  Oh well - getting my shoes wet and muddy didn't hurt me all that much - except my pride!!!  

Neglectful

Don't feel bad, blog! 
You are not the only thing I am neglecting! 
I'll be back - one of these days...
I promise!!

To do list!

My "to do list" is getting longer
Because I only add to it and never take anything off!
I am thinking the name "Not going to do - ever"
would be more appropriate for this list!!!

At war with a Robin

I am at war with a Robin and losing the battle!

After seeing itself in the side mirrors of my car and falling in love with itself, it began to use my car for its courting ritual - tracking it's poop all over the car and windows in the process. 

We moved our cars to another location!

It moved to my front stoop where it could see it's reflection in my glass storm door,  covering my iron railing, stoop, and front door with it's poop as it continued its mating ritual with itself!

I tried covering the door with a sheet, which kept blowing all over the place, even after I tried to tape it in place. 

It moved to my front basement window!

I consulted with the Internet and was advised to tape paper owl silhouettes on the glass.

Didn't faze it at all!  It just keeps having one big freaking poop party with itself!

Now its building it's love nest in my dryer vent outlet. 
We pull the nest stuff out, it fills it back up!

Tonight it laid siege inside the 9ft long vent pipe.

I am thinking of smoking it out!

Anyone have a BB gun I can borrow for when it flies out?

The way this battle is going so far, I am thinking I am going to end up with a dead bird stuck in my vent which is going to cause me to have to spend mega bucks to cut into the drywall ceiling to take the vent apart and get the dang stinking thing out! 

Maybe I should just stick my white flag up and surrender!

"You win birdy!  You can come out now!"
(fingers crossed behind my back and gun pointed at opening)

God's Tender Mercies - A phone call

The month of January was a rough one, and once again God chose this time to share another of His tender mercies with me. 

About a week after I came home from Hawaii, I started having some pain in my left shoulder and neck area.  I had the pain most days off and on, but it responded to Ibuprofen so it was tolerable.  I sought help from a chiropractor and massage therapist that I had been seeing off and on since last summer  when I had pain in my left shoulder blade area.  That issue had been resolved, or so I thought.  This time the pain was more in my left upper shoulder and lower neck area.  My chiro told me my muscles felt like a tight unyielding rope. She and the massage therapist worked on helping me get the issues resolved again and was able to give me some short term relief.

However, the week after Christmas, my shoulder muscles pulled into a extremely painful tight spasming knot that I could not get to release.  Suspecting this might have something to do with  Parkinson's I tried to get an appointment with my neurologist.  Frustratingly, I could not get in to see him until early February so I made an appointment with my primary care doctor instead.  Based on the MRI report I had done during the summer because of the other shoulder issue, which showed minor arthritis in my neck, she diagnosed a neck strain and said it was aggravating the arthritis.  She referred me to physical therapy.

I had now been dealing with this constant pain for almost 3 weeks and the pain was no longer responding to any pain medication.  When I saw the physical therapist, she tried several tricks to get the muscles to release, but they were unresponsive.  She said the muscles were pulling my left collar bone and ribs up towards my head about an inch.  She put me in a position to release the tension in the muscles,  but instead it actually cramped them even more.    "It should not be doing that", she exclaimed.  Well it was!  The next day, I desperately tried to get some relief from a message, but after it was over I was tighter than ever and still in terrible pain.  I left her office and got into my car and just sat there on the verge of tears.  "Father, I can not do this.  I can't live like this - what am I going to do?", I silently prayed. 

As I sat there trying to pull myself together so I could drive, my cell phone rang.  I didn't recognize the number and just about ignored it, but for some reason decided to answer it.  To my total shock and amazement, it was my neurologist.  "I haven't seen you for awhile and decided to see how you are doing.", he said.  I pulled the phone from my ear and stared at it for a couple of seconds.  No doctor has ever just called me out of the blue - ever.  "Really?" I responded, "were you inspired by God to call me?"  Surprised, he answered, "I occasionally call my patients to see how they are."  Yeah - right!!  I knew better! 

To make a long story short, my neurologist's phone call was literally a God send and he was able to determine that I was experiencing dystonia caused by the Parkinson's and helped me get the pain relief I so desperately needed - which included putting me on the gold standard Parkinson's medicine, Carbidopa/levodopa or in lay terms - the dopamine medicine.  The pain is gone and I am so much better.   I did not realize just how much the Parkinson's was really affecting me until I got some of that dopamine back in me!   That's good stuff - that dopamine is!!!!  Good Stuff!

Never before has a doctor called me out of the blue - ever, so I know in my heart of hearts who was really responsible for that phone call.  I am grateful that the doctor acted on a thought that was placed in his mind and even more grateful for a loving God who constantly showers my life with his very timely tender mercies! 

OOPS!

Hubby and I went to the movies tonight.  Unfortunately nothing we wanted to see was playing during the time frame we needed, except one independent film that had caught my eye, "A moment in time".  I enjoy going to independent films, although I have to admit, they are sometimes a hit or miss event.  I usually go to see them alone, as Hubby is not so enamoured with them.  But he agreed to see this one with me ...

... And his response to it was  ...   Several very loud exaggerated "just shoot me now" sighs throughout the movie ... and I think at one point he may have been snoring  ...  As we walked out of the movie he asked me why I thought he would like such a hideous, screechy, obnoxious, boring, horrible, sappy, sickeningly drawn out, torturous movie?  Hhmm - do you think he liked it?

Oops!  I think this is one I should have gone to alone! 

(Somehow I knew I might be in trouble when I saw the theater was full of Philippine teenage girls. Oops!!!!)

A wasted snow day! How sad!

My boss told us yesterday that if it's snowing today he was going to close the office.  It did snow, not that bad, so I thought maybe I would go in to work anyways and get caught up while it was quiet.  Hubby had to go in to work early this morning for something very important (not), but said he would come home around noon.  So I decided not to go to work and spend the day with him instead.

Did some laundry, got caught up on some of favorite blogs and Internet sites, read, watched some TV, and waited.  No Hubby!  I waited and waited and waited some more.  Took a nap and piddled away the rest of the afternoon.  Still no Hubby!   Finally at 7:30 p.m. he showed up (his normal work day time to come home). 

Such a waste of a perfectly good snow day!  :(

At least I had a relaxing (not to mention very non-productive) day.

One of God's Tender Mercies - Finding the PPMI study!

I have been meaning to write this now long overdue post about how I became a participant in the Parkinson's PPMI study.  Finally - here it is!

https://www.michaeljfox.org/get-involved/parkinsons-progression-marker-initiative.html

Things happen in my life that many would call coincidences.  But I know differently and that they are truly just God showing his love for me.  I wrote about a few examples before:

http://cmfalling.blogspot.com/2011/06/strange-coincidences.html

I have had several more experiences specifically connected with my Parkinson's journey, and in fact just had another one recently that I will write about in the next post.  I call these incidents "God's Tender Mercies" for I know that is what they are!  I don't deserve them, yet he is merciful and continues to bless me anyways.

If you have followed this blog since the beginning or if you are one of my Daily Strength support group friends, you know already that I struggle with deciding to go on the meds.  While each new drug recommendation sparks another struggle within me and probably always will, these struggles are nothing compared to the struggle I went through the first several months after being diagnosed and my neurologist recommended I start on a neuro protective drug.  I wrote about some of my struggling thoughts here:

http://cmfalling.blogspot.com/2011/08/my-dilemma.html

That post was written in August 2011, I had already been struggling with the decision of that drug for 2 months previous.  While most of those concerns were eventually resolved by my research and by my doctor, I still could not make the decision to go on the drug - even though everything pointed out that it would be a wise thing to do.  I struggled, to the point of obsessing about it.  I went back and forth with yes I would go on then quickly changing my mind to no I won't go on it - driving crazy my husband and everyone else who would listen with my wanting to discuss it over and over.  This went on for even more months after I wrote the above post in August. 

Finally, sometime the end of October or early November 2011, I came to the conclusion that I really should just go on the drug and quit worrying about it.  So I sat down to the computer and wrote an email to my doctor to go ahead and write the prescription.  I went to press the send key and I could not press it.  A very real irrational uncomfortable feeling came over me and I literally could not send the email.  I was beginning to wonder if I was nuts, or if it was just Parkinson's caused panic attacks, as I had experienced some of those over the past months. But this felt different. 

A couple of nights later I was talking on the phone to my sister who is a nurse and described the dilemma of the drugs.  After sharing the email experience, I said to her "i can't figure out if this is just an irrational Parkinson's freakout or if God is telling me for some reason not to go on the drug."   She told me to stop worrying about it and my answer would come.

The very next day I was reading discussion posts on the Daily Strength site and there was a new post from a John Hopkins medical center nurse saying they were looking for new participants for their PPMI Parkinson's observational study.  I had read about the study before and thought I should look into it further, but never did.  One of the requirements for the study listed on this particular post was that the PD patient couldn't be on any Parkinson's drugs yet. (Yeah - you all know where this is going!)  Shivers ran up my arm and I immediately called the number given in the post and left a message.  Arita McCoy, the nurse, called me back almost immediately.  We discussed the study, I asked her about the not being on any drugs requirement and when she told me it included the neuro protective drugs,  I immediately felt calm and peaceful.  The hair on my arms continued standing straight up as I realized I had been given my answer,  for whatever reason, I was suppose to be in this study.  So I quickly signed up and met their qualifications which allowed me to participate.

I can not begin to tell you the numerous benefits and wealth of information that I have received from the amazing doctors and nurses at John Hopkins medical center who are conducting this research.  While some of the tests and procedures are not the least bit fun (including lumbar punctures), I have been given so much more from participating than I will ever be able to give by being a participant. 

Those months of indecisive agonizing were awful, but I am slowly - oh so slowly - learning that I need to be more trusting, have more faith, and be more humble - for God is there for me and will guide me, comfort me, and teach me if I will only let Him.  .

And now you know - the rest of the story!