A good end to a lousy week!

It's been a long lousy week!  The company I work for moved our offices - dust and all.  (Men!!!!)  I slid and took a tumble while running down a short gravel hill, ending up with scrapes and bruises all over my body.  One of my kids who lives alone with her son, over 2000 miles away from us, ended up in the hospital for a week because of severe infected cat bites from breaking up a cat fight.  And, to continue the cat trouble theme, our 15 year old cat decided to have litter box aversion problems  for the first time ever.  (Do you think it is inhumane to put a cat down for pooping on my carpets?)  (Don't jump on me - I am not serious - although I have to admit the thought really did cross my mind.)   Did I mention that my Parkinson tremors get worse from stress?  Thank goodness it's over!

However I had a good end to this lousy week.  After work tonight, Hubby and I went to our community pool to cool off from this horrible heat wave.  We both worked late so we got to the pool an hour before it closed.  It was nearly empty and it felt so calming and refreshing swimming laps.  Several laps I turned on my back to swim the back stroke.  Staring up at the beautiful dusk lit sky while slowly gliding through the water felt so serene that I could literally feel the stress of the week seep out of me into the water with each stroke.

Then to continue with our de-stressing objective, we undermined the swimming health benefit by driving to Dairy Queen where I enjoyed a delicious Turtle Pecan Cluster Blizzard.  It was sooooooo good!

                    YUM YUM!  Definitely a good ending to a lousy week!

                              Anyone want to adopt a 15 year cat?  She's free!!!!

Nothing a good 8 mile hike can't resolve!!!

Update to the punching bag post!  We have resolved our conflict after spending several days processing what we were feeling and figuring out what we needed to happen for resolution.   (or in other words - we both fumed and stewed for several days).  Well actually the truth is - hubby did more of the fuming and stewing this time.  I had a rather quick recovery - thank you very much!  Must have been because I beat that punching bag to death and felt so much better after.  lol  On Saturday we went on a long hike which ended up being over 8 miles, we got lost and then ended up calling our daughter to come rescue us - but that is another story.  Anyways - during our long walk, we were able to calmly talk this latest issue out and find resolution that is satisfactory to both of us.  (or in other words - he admitted he was wrong and I was right! lol)  (Actually not the case - but I just liked saying it)

Bottom line is our marriage is better off than before.  This conflict has brought us closer together and helped us to understand each other a little better.  We have identified some areas of improvement that we both have to work on - mainly communication!

Unfortunately there was one side drawback for my husband.  This episode has brought him out of denial land and made my disease more real to him.  In a way I am saddened by that - but I know it had to happen eventually.  It has forced us both to look at some differences in our expectations for the future and helped us to understand that we both will have some compromising to do.  Our expectations are going to have to be a little more flexible as we figure out what works and what doesn't.

So we move forward in this learning journey - together, hand in hand as we walk towards the sunset!  (whatever!!!  lol)

I am keeping the punching bag around just in case.

Where is the Punching Bag?

A few posts back, Fay suggested I get a punching bag.  Right now, THIS VERY MINUTE, I  really need one and I want to put my husband's face on it!!!!!!!!  In all fairness, however, I am sure my husband would also like a punching bag with MY face on it.  lol

It's funny how life altering events can bring marital faults and cracks to the surface very quickly.  All marriages have them and if you know someone who says their marriage doesn't, IMHO they are either lying or in huge denial.  My marriage is (was) near perfect, yet we definitely have issues and some of those include communication style problems.  After 30 plus years, I thought that we had worked most of these issues through and had improved our communication skills, but apparently I was mistaken.  I can clearly see now that some of the communication cracks were just covered up with a tarp and this new path in our lives is causing the tarps to fall away.  Unfortunately, we are finding these cracks are still here in all their yucky glory and are just as wide as they were before!

In our typical dysfunctional style, I am siting here thinking of ways to extract revenge (I know - hard to believe from sweet little ole me!) and he has retreated to his corner and will either wait till things blow over on their own or will try to figure out how to apologize and get back into my good grace.  Most likely the immediate problem will be dealt with, but the underlying communication issue will still be here.  After all - these cracks have been here all these years thus far.  I suspect they are not going away very easily!

So, I feel ignored, disrespected, manipulated, unvalidated, hurt and of course, (deep breath) lets not forget angry! But, I will get over it soon, I always do!  Our marriage is not a one way street and I realize I play a big part in creating the communication cracks.  I also am well aware that right now, my husband is dealing with his own set of negative feelings to match mine.

But you know what? - I don't care!  I just want a punching bag - and his face is definitely going on it!!!