It's been 6 whole months since a doctor first dropped the Parkinson's word into my unsuspecting and very unwelcoming lap. And it's been 5 months since the diagnosis was made official. Where am I now? Well, really not anywhere different and yet, I am in a majorly different place. Sound confusing? Yeah, to me too.
My physical symptoms continue, only they seem more noticeable, or at least I notice them more: tremors in my left hand and leg (my hand shakes most of the time now), stiffness (rigidity) on the left side, my left hand fingers sometimes refuse to move the way I want them to, some achyiness mostly in my left wrist and arm, and minor balance issues (but I have been a klutz most of my life, so not sure this is any different). Lately there are minor signs that the tremors are starting to migrate to the right side also. This latest development is sucky (to say the least).
My emotions remain the same, I have my ups and downs but I am managing to stay positive the majority of the time. I try real hard to stay focused on the here and now and not project down the road. Sometimes my brain forces me to look down the road, but I quickly slap it silly till it comes back to the present. Or if that doesn't work, I sit in my shower until I cry it all out or the water turns cold (whichever is first). Hey, whatever works! Right? lol
The biggest difference for me right now is how I view my life. I am more cognitive of everything I can do, which I use to take for granted. Smiling, picking up and holding my grandson, wearing high heels, buttoning a shirt, typing, and driving, to name a few. What a blessing these all are, well - except the high heels maybe, but hubby thinks they are sexy looking, and that is a blessing (wink wink)! I am pretty sure the heels will be the first to go though. (probably a good thing)(sigh) Anyways, while this disease scares the daylight out of me when I go down the "what can happen" road, if I manage to stay in the here and now it makes me very grateful for so many things.
So where am I today compared to 6 months ago? I am still doing everything I was then. My life routine has not changed on the surface much, except I shake more, I walk slower going down stairs (only when in heels), I exercise longer and more regularly so actually I am more physically fit than I was before (pat on the back). I think about having Parkinson's all the time, and most of the time I am way more grateful of the here and now because of it. I still go to work, we travel, go to movies and eat out (a lot). Our kids still drive us nuts, we joke and laugh, and we fight and make up. I am still annoying and obnoxious at times, and hubby still loves me and puts up with me.
So all in all, I am still me and life is still good (and still sometimes yucky), only now my life includes Parkinson's Disease. I am not particularly happy about it - but it is what it is... so I live with it. (Not like I was given a choice or anything!) And most days I live very well with it. Other days? Like I said, I am still me.
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